Date : July 26, 2019
“Today, I am coming back from therapy. I was over at Lane County Mental Health doing Transcranial Magnetic Therapy. It’s a new therapy that they are using—they use it a lot in people who have PTSD. They use it in missions in L.A. If you just do the stimulation part of it, what it does is bring about positive neurons in your brain. If you do the therapy, you have to do it for 30 weeks, at least once a week, and you can’t miss a day. I just had my 30th treatment, but they’ve decided I need more. I used to want to die every day. I had suicidal tendencies for about 45 years. Child abuse from the age of 5 to 15—ten years. This is the first time I’ve ever been free of thoughts of self-harm—it’s changed my entire life. I can now connect with others easier, instead of disassociating or hiding in my house a lot. I am even going to go to a festival this month. My daughter, who I gave up for adoption 44 years ago, we found each other a year ago. On the 30th of this month, she’ll be arriving. She’s 44 and I haven’t seen her since she was a baby. Now, I am a grandmother of three. They’re beautiful—I just love them so much already. I’ve lived here for 40 years, and I love it here. I wouldn’t change anything. I have good friends, people who care about me. It’s a hard place to live, but it’s also a very loving place to be because there are people who will scoop you up and take you into their heart. There are very kind people here. That’s something that I never experienced living anywhere else. I grew up in L.A.—Orange County, I am used to people not even looking you in the eye. People actually say ‘Hi’ to you here.”
